


Graduation Party

by sonofthanatos



Category: South Park
Genre: Anal Sex, Drunken Shenanigans, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Humor, Love, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sex, Stripping, Swearing, Underage Drinking, Underwear, all characters are 18
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-06-10 21:22:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15300288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonofthanatos/pseuds/sonofthanatos
Summary: After graduating high school, Token decides to throw an epic party. Each chapter dedicated to a different event that night.Chapter 1: Token and NicholeChapter 2: Tweek  and CraigChapter 3: KennyChapter 4: KyleChapter 5: Aftermath





	1. Token and Nichole

The word went out just after graduation: Token Black was having a party.

Token’s parties were legendary; working for his dad after school gave him plenty of money, and with his huge house and fantastic taste in alcohol his parties were guaranteed to be best of the best. Huge crowds were no problem, and the Blacks had plenty of guest rooms for drunken partiers to crash afterwards (and hook up throughout the party). His parents were home most of the time unfortunately, but those few occasions when they left town were eagerly, desperately anticipated. Now, they had to go to Europe to finalize some business deal or another, and Token was seizing the opportunity. They were only going to be 18 and graduating once, and he fully intended to make the most of it.

After passing around the word to his friends, and giving them permission to pass it on to theirs, the work started. Token quickly recruited people to help him move everything breakable and valuable into his father’s office, which he then securely locked. His father had had it reinforced years before and everything would be completely safe there. Going into his bedroom, he put the key into his own safe, where he also kept everything he wanted to keep private: his journal, notes from girls, money, and most precious of all the USB where he kept all his porn. Taking some money out, he made sure to lock the safe and went out for booze.

Getting the liquor wasn’t a problem; in the past he had gone to some extreme measures to find alcohol, but ever since Kenny’s older brother had hit 21 he had been willing to buy anybody with money all the booze they could afford without charging them TOO much. He was easy enough to hunt down, since he was unemployed and spent all his time either in a bar or at his parent’s place, and he came back with a pickup filled with liquor, mix, shots, and 6 kegs, plus something in a bag to take home with him. Token paid him very well to help them get it all into his house, and he took off with his payment.

Token surveyed the house with satisfaction; the guest rooms were ready, his father’s office was locked, his safe was locked, they had food, they had booze, he had organized all the furniture, set up a karaoke machine and set up his stereo system so the music would be pumped all over downstairs, his guests would be arriving soon. He had gotten out cards for drinking games, set up several tables, set up a beer pong set, and most important of all, he had made absolutely certain that all the girls were coming.

He was ready.

 

 

The heavy bass pounded through the house amidst the cheering crowds. Token grinned at the drunken stupidity surrounding him; Kyle was in the middle of a keg stand, held up by Stan with his messy red curls going everywhere, the usually stoic and emotionless Craig was sitting on the couch with Tweek on his lap, playing with the other boy’s hair. He spotted Nichole and eagerly made his way over to her.

“Hey gorgeous.” He smiled winningly at her, and silently crowed at the smile he got in return.

“Hey handsome. Fancy meeting you here.”

She slid next to him, and he instinctively put his arm around her. They weren’t dating at that point, but their relationship was the definition of “it’s complicated”; they bounced from dating to friendship to dating to enmity to friendship to enmity to dating almost randomly. Right now they were close friends, although Token was hoping to take it further soon.

Almost as if reading his mind, she touched his arm and smiled flirtatiously at him. “Hey Mr. America, when did you get these muscles?”

He flexed for her and she laughed, moving even closer to him. After a moment of hesitation, she reached up and played with his hair.

“Can we go upstairs and talk?”

Token froze. Upstairs, where their bedrooms are. Upstairs, where people hooked up. Upstairs, where his bed was, with a pack of condoms he had bought “just in case” before the party but never thought he’d use. Upstairs, where he had spent many nights thinking of that exact question and all that would follow.

He nodded cautiously, afraid that speaking would wreck the moment.

They headed for the stairs, passing Timmy and Jimmy as the two disabled boys made their way to the backyard. They made their way to Token’s bedroom, and he nervously closed the door behind him.

“Token, relax. I just want to talk to you for now.”

Torn between relief and extreme disappointment, Token sat on the bed and Nichole sat next to him. After a moment, looking down at her hands, she started.

“You and I have been all over the map. Dating, friends, enemies, once we were all three at once.”

“That was a weird few weeks.”

Nichole smiled softly. “Yeah.”

For a minute they sat quietly. Token broke the silence first. “I heard you’re going to NYU.”

Nichole nodded, looking happy. “Yeah, I’m studying chemistry. I was always good at it. What about you?”

“Stanford, for my MBA.”

“Are you going to work for your dad?”

“Maybe someday. I want to make a name for myself first; I hate those people who get out of school and end up Vice-President of whatever because their dad is the CEO. I want to prove myself before I work for him.”

Nichole nodded. After a moment she started again. “You and I are going in different directions.”

Token nodded sadly. He could see where this was going.

“The fact is, you and I both want different things out of life. We’re different people, and as much as I care about you, and I hope you care about me, we’re never, ever going to make each other happy because neither of us is willing to sacrifice everything for each other.”

Token wrapped his arm around her again. “I honestly care a lot for you, Nichole. I wish…I wish…” he hesitated, then got the words out. “I wish that was enough for either of us.”

“Me too.”

It was quiet for a moment, the sad quiet of two friends knowing this would be the last time they would be this close, knowing that once they walked out that door, they might stay friends, but it would never be the same.

Nichole tenderly took his hand.

“Do you know, I’ve never done anything wrong before? I’ve never broken a law, never skipped school or not done my homework or my chores.”

He nudged her playfully. “You’re a bad influence on me. No wonder my parents always liked you.”

She nodded. “I want to do something bad tonight. Something that I’m not supposed to do.”

His eyebrows raised. “Like what?”

“You.”

Token blinked. He hadn’t been expecting that.

“What?”

“All my friends who aren’t virgins regret their first time. It’s always been some drunken idiot at a party, sloppy and over fast and panicking the next day. You, though…you and I have always been close. I’ll always remember you, always care for you. I want to know you, your body, your heart…we’ll never be ‘Token and Nichole’ after tonight. I want to end it together. One final night.”

Token was grinning so hard he was worried his smile would freeze and he’d look like the Joker. His heart was beating rapidly, and the idea of what was happening was rapidly making him harder than he’d ever been. He leaned forward and kissed her softly, and she kissed him back. Carefully, she began to remove her clothes, exposing her magnificent breasts, her soft, supple skin, the ebony flesh gloriously exposed to the light. Token didn’t feel nearly as graceful as he fumbled to pull his shirt off and kicked his jeans aside.

Nichole was smiling nervously as she watched the boy quickly toss his clothes aside. Feeling playful, she reached over and ran her hands down his torso before catching his boxers and slowly pulling them down. Her eyes focused on what they revealed; Token’s manhood was fully erect, bigger than she expected, but beautiful. Unable to stop herself, she stroked it lightly with one finger, enjoying the moan Token gave out.

Reaching into his bedside table, Token pulled out a pack of condoms. He struggled to put it on with his trembling hands, and Nichole decided to help him, earning another moan. She giggled at the sound and lay back on the bed. Token slowly got on top of her, kissing her belly button, and working his way up to her breasts, kissing them both and playing lightly with her nipples. She gasped and arched at the sensation, and he buried his face in her chest before moving up more and entering her. Both of them gasped at once at the incredible feeling, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him passionately as they moved together, two bodies enjoined in passion, nothing off limits. Their hands explored everything they could reach, their tongues fighting for dominance as he moved in her.

It was over quickly, although it felt like forever. He collapsed, gasping on top of her. After a moment he rolled over, and she turned to face him. They wrapped their arms around each other, loving each other, knowing that for the rest of their lives, no matter where they went or what they did, they would always remember this one, perfect moment.

They fell asleep in each other’s arms as the music pounded downstairs, barely registering the drunken cheers.

 


	2. Tweek and Craig

Under normal circumstances, Tweek would have met up with Craig and they would have had dinner together before the party. That would have given him time to calm down, to draw strength from his boyfriend’s resilience and quiet confidence. Sadly, Token had asked Craig for help setting up and Tweek wasn’t selfish enough to stop him and demand Craig come look after him.

Now he stood in his room in his underwear, his hair damp from his shower, staring frantically at every piece of clothing he owned strewn around the room. He looked at and promptly threw aside his usual button-down shirts; even with Craig he never got the buttons right. He was too worked up to even try.

_IT’S TOO MUCH PRESSURE!_ He silently screamed, before trying to find his center. He imagined himself in a wonderland paradise, surrounded by puppies. Craig stood nearby with Stripe, smiling at him. Tweek could almost hear him whisper _I believe in you_. Craig was an awesome source of strength for him. The two were moving in together in Denver this fall while Craig went to college and Tweek began to scout out locations; his parents were giving him money to open a second branch of their coffee shop and run it himself.

Taking several calming breaths, Tweek opened his eyes again. They landed immediately on one of Craig’s shirts; it was a long black t-shirt that was way too big for him, but Craig had left it here one day after Tweek spilled milk on it and promised to wash it. Since then, he had more or less stolen it and wore it when he wanted to think of Craig. His boyfriend knew but had never asked for it back; Tweek suspected he liked it when Tweek wore his clothes.

Smiling, Tweek put it on and pulled on a pair of blue jeans. _Good enough_.

 

It took him a little while longer to go to the party, and then to gather the courage to knock on the door. When Token opened it, he smiled warmly, and gently told him where Craig was; ever since he and Craig had started dating, Tweek had been adopted into his boyfriend’s friend circle and they all knew how to handle him. Tweek was forever grateful to them for it.

He made his way into the living room, past the dancing bodies; he saw Cartman heading up the stairs and felt a surge of relief at not having to talk to him. He glanced at the line of kegs, noticing a few people upside down over them, but where was-

“TWEEK!”

Tweek shrieked, but immediately melted into his boyfriend’s arms. Craig was rarely emotional in public; he wondered how many his boyfriend had had. It wasn’t unheard of for Craig to get drunk, but it was far from common, and it was well known that his usual indifferent air vanished and he became incredibly cuddly and oddly possessive of Tweek; it was as though he saved all his public emotions and let them all out at once after having a few drinks.

Next thing Tweek knew, he was being lifted into the air with a small shriek. Craig carried him bridal style across the room, sitting on a loveseat and putting Tweek on his lap, his arms around him.

“Gah! Howmanyhaveyouhad?”

Craig frowned in concentration. “Si-no, se-no, wait, umm…how many does a keg stand count for?

Tweek giggled at the sight. His boyfriend was so composed and serene in public, so resilient and firm, it was such a wonder to see him drunk, especially since it was so rare. Apparently others agreed, as Clyde and Jimmy were putting more shots in their hands. Tweek tossed one down.

Clyde grinned at him. “Come on, Tweek. Do karaoke with me!”

Tweek flushed. “No.”

“Come on!” Clyde caught his hands and started to pull him up, only to fall forward and land almost on top of them when Craig possessively pulled Tweek back.

“MINE!” Craig almost growled the word, making Tweek shiver with delight.

“He’s his own person, I just want to borrow- “

“No! He’s mine!” Craig’s arms became tighter.

“Technically you just have visiting rights to him,” Jimmy pointed out.

“I will fight for full custody!”

Tweek giggled at his ridiculous boyfriend, and in a daring display of courage turned and kissed him. Craig relaxed immediately, although he didn’t let Tweek go. Resting his head on Craig’s shoulder, Tweek felt fully at peace. Craig brought one hand up and started playing with his hair.

The night wore on, and Tweek was torn between panic and amusement at his boyfriend. Craig was unusually physical with him, keeping Tweek in his arms at all times and carrying him around if they needed to go anywhere. It helped a lot that Tweek’s usual anxiety and insecurity were easily quelled by Craig’s obvious possessiveness. Clyde had found Kenny and the two of them had conquered the karaoke machine, singing duet after duet. Jimmy disappeared for a while, and Tweek heard through the grapevine that Timmy was around somewhere. Nichole came in a bit later, and Token immediately disappeared with her.

Kenny took to the microphone on the machine. “All right, ladies, gay men, my boy Clyde and I have a bet over who’s the hottest. Your cheers are the votes!”

Tweek burst out laughing as the two took the stage (well, the area of floor they decided was the stage). The sound of AC/DC shook the walls as the two of them began strutting around, singing. Tweek cheered with the rest of them as the two gyrated, twirled, and grinded on stage and-

Wait.

Were they…

_Oh. My. God._

Tweek’s eyes widened and the cheers erupted as the two boys began stripping. Kenny tossing his shirt over the crowd shamelessly while Clyde simply tossed his aside.

The pants were next, and Tweek felt Craig shake with laughter as they disappeared, leaving the two boys standing back to back as the song ended, Kenny wearing nothing but a pair of blue boxer-briefs and Clyde wearing tight black briefs.

As the hooting mob surrounded them, Craig suddenly got up, swept Tweek into his arms, and headed drunkenly for the stairs. Tweek made him put him down at that point, not daring to try a staircase in the arms of his boyfriend who was currently drunker than Tweek had ever seen him.

They stumbled down the hallway. Tweek vaguely noticed the shape of Cartman on the balcony talking to somebody as they went to a guest room. Craig released him at that point and stood looking at him lustfully; Tweek had seen that look before, and always looked forward to what happened next.

It didn’t bother him that they were in a bedroom. They were boyfriends after all, and they had had sex before. He was just worried about Craig. Stepping forward, he kissed his boyfriend, squealing lightly as Craig reached around and cupped his ass before releasing him.

Craig grinned at him. “You little tease, you just like to turn me on, don’t you?”

“What?”

“You come in here, cute as a button, wearing MY clothes? You know what that does to me.”

Tweek grinned in response. At last he understood what had been going on all night.

“Well, if you really don’t like it…”

Cautiously, nervously, he pulled the shirt off and tossed it to him. No matter how far they went he’d still be nervous exposing his body like that.

Craig stared at him in wonder.

Tweek teasingly turned and reached for the door. “See you downstairs then?”

Before he could blink he was in the air. The next moment he was in bed, Craig on top of him, kissing him passionately, deeply. Craig’s strong arms firmly pinned his hands down. Tweek loved being restrained and normally would have gone wild for this, but he wanted to do something different tonight. He carefully pushed Craig back up, and Craig reluctantly released him.

“I always thought you were like a drug, Craig. You calm me down, I wanted to bottle you and take you whenever I’m nervous.”

Craig nodded, trying to see where Tweek was going.

“So tonight, I’m going to swallow you like I’ve always wanted.”

Craig’s eyes bugged out of his head as Tweek slowly slipped off the bed to kneel on the floor in front of him. He couldn’t even speak as Tweek leaned forward, slowly rubbing Craig before unzipping him. Then, in a move he had practiced with closed jeans at home, Tweek carefully unbuttoned them with his mouth. Craig lifted off the bed slightly as Tweek pull his jeans and boxers down in one go, leaving his rock-hard member standing at attention.

Leaning forward, Tweek kissed the tip, then slowly licked it from base to tip. Opening his mouth, he took it in whole, running his tongue around it and sucking before withdrawing again and looking up.

Craig was an absolute wreck. His eyes were wide open, black with desire. His hands clung to the bedsheets, his breathing erratic. He looked like he was going to pass out and Tweek had a moment of _Oh my God, I did this to CRAIG_ that rocked his world before he resumed the task at hand.

Craig moaned and whined, gasped and choked as Tweek took every tip he had read online and put them into practice, savoring every desperate noise he could extract from his boyfriend. It was so rare for Craig to be anything but flat, and Tweek planned to make the most of this as he sucked Craig off.

A few minutes later, Craig struggled to speak. “Tweek, I’m…I’m gonna…watch out, I’m…OH GOD PLEASE DON’T STOP BUT I’M GOING TO CUM!!!”

Tweek simply took Craig’s hands in response, drawing his cheeks in and sucking hard. That did it for Craig, who came with a loud moan right down Tweek’s throat. Tweek eagerly swallowed every drop.

Craig fell backwards, gasping for air. Tweek stood and lay on top of him, their legs dangling off the side of the bed as Craig kissed him again.

Craig smiled at him. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Tweek said softly. “I’m yours, Craig, always yours.”

“Mine.” Craig whispered, before standing. Tweek tried to get up, but Craig pushed him back down lightly before seizing his legs and flipping Tweek over. Tweek felt his jeans and underwear fly off, and grabbed a pillow to bury his face in to muffle his screams of ecstasy as Craig pounded him through the mattress; humiliating experience had shown him he was anything but subtle during sex.

As Tweek moaned and wailed, Craig stopped thrusting for a moment, leaned down, and growled into his ear “Mine.” Tweek came with a shuddering gasp.

Craig tenderly lifted the spent boy, laying him down properly on the bed and laying next to him. No words needed to be said.


	3. Kenny

Kenny loved parties.

He was totally in his element, dancing and flirting with anybody and everybody, playing pranks, dominating at beer pong; the best thing was that since it was at Token’s house, the other boy would just hire people to clean up tomorrow so they could go nuts with almost no repercussions.

Stan was driving him there and he could walk back the next day, so he did a few shots with Kevin to start the night off; he and his brother had never been close, but now that Kevin was an adult he was making a real (if pathetic) effort to be friends with his siblings. Karen didn’t particularly care, but Kenny felt bad for his big brother and wasn’t ready to cut him out completely. He then had a shower and put on his best party clothes, finishing his hair just as Stan pulled up.

Piling into Stan’s car, he felt pretty good. Kyle was sitting in the front seat, his usual green hat firmly in place. Kenny promptly seized it.

“KENNY!” Kyle shouted, trying to grab his hat with one hand and get his enormous hair under control with the other.

“Nope.” Kenny deliberately popped the “P”. “It’s our last real party before we have to pretend to be functioning adults, and we’re all letting our hair down, or out. Token said earlier even CRAIG isn’t wearing his hat.”

Kyle sighed, but gave in.

The rest of the short drive was general reminiscing about high school and discussing their future plans. Kenny had managed to get a scholarship to the University of Colorado and was staying in the dorms in Denver next year, Stan was heading to California to UCLA on a football scholarship, and Kyle had surprised everybody by deciding to go to Israel on a religious pilgrimage. Ever since he had his Bar Mitzvah, Kyle had been much more serious about Judaism.

They were some of the first to arrive, aside from the guys who had come early to help Token set up. After having a shot to start the party, Token put on the music.

While guests started pouring in, Kenny began dancing with random people, enjoying the laughter and the music. The energy was electric in the room. Heading over to the keg, he caught Craig’s arm.

“Hey dude, do a keg stand!”

Craig stared flatly at him. “No.”

“Come on! It’s our last night together, your last big party before you become an old married couple with Tweek, you have to cut loose with the rest of us.”

Craig didn’t respond, not like Kenny expected him to.

“Come on, do you really want me to tell Tweek that you’re being anti-social?”

That did it. Tweek was always encouraging Craig to be friendlier, and as much as Craig denied it, the one guaranteed way to get him to do anything was point out that Tweek would like it. Kenny fought the urge to smirk as he watched the defiance in Craig’s eyes diminish and resignation settle in his face.

“Alright, fine. I’m only doing this once though.”

Kenny grinned and led him over to one of the kegs. Craig gripped it determinedly, and Kenny caught his waist and lifted him into the air upside down. Holding himself up with one hand, Craig used the other to grab the tube and began pouring beer into his mouth, quickly surrounded by a cheering mob. Around him, other guests began doing their own stands.

Kenny finally let Craig down. His black hair was messy and his face was flushed.

“Good job!”

Craig glared at him. Kenny smiled winningly back. Clyde plowed his way into the conversation, holding shot glasses. He pressed one into Craig’s hand, then handed one to Kenny.

“Cheers boys!”

Kenny drank the shot, enjoying the flavour. After a moment, Craig did too. He could see the delight on Clyde’s face, and had to admit he was looking forward to this as well. Craig lost all his usual stoicism when he was drunk and got super possessive of his boyfriend.

Kyle was next, and Kenny held him up again. Kyle had never been very coordinated, and Kenny had to hold tightly on to him.

“Kenny, don’t pull my pants down.”

Kenny smirked. “Good idea.”

“Promise me you won’t pull my pants down. I don’t want to be over a keg with my pants around my ankles.”

Kenny laughed. “Kyle, I promise I will not pull your pants or your underwear down to your knees or your ankles. Your pants will stay where they are.”

Kyle nodded, not noticing the loophole he had left. Stan helped Kyle get the nozzle in his mouth and started pouring. Kenny grinned as he looked at the waist firmly in his hands, Kyle’s feet hanging in the air. Kenny carefully adjusted Kyle to make sure he wouldn’t fall easily, wrapping one arm firmly around his waist to keep him in place. He carefully reached his other arm up, braced himself…

…and grabbed Kyle’s boxers, pulling them firmly up his back in a brutal wedgie.

Kyle whined, his mouth too full of beer to do anything about it. The crowd broke out laughing, and Stan punched Kenny’s leg playfully. After another minute Kenny let Kyle down, and Kyle immediately flipped him off, his red curls dangling insanely.

“You asshole!”

“You said don’t pull them down! You never said not to pull them up.”

Kyle had to laugh at that. Kenny had the unnatural ability to be friends with everybody and get away with murder because he was so damn likeable.

As the night continued, Kenny made it a point to dance with everybody, guys and girls. He wasn’t known as the class flirt for nothing, and though he never made an issue out of it he considered himself pansexual; guys, girls, trans, he didn’t discriminate.

Soon he roped Craig and Clyde into a three-way dance, the boys drunkenly moving around. Kenny had always wanted to get Craig drunk enough to twerk, although he had never been successful.

As they bounced around, Kenny spotted a messy blond head enter the room nervously, as jittery as ever. He was looking around anxiously, and Kenny pointed him out.

“Hey, check out the hot blonde!”

Craig glanced over idly, and instantly abandoned them to scoop Tweek up in his arms and carry him off. Laughing, Clyde followed them. Kenny glanced back at the kegs, saw they were all occupied, and got into a serious game of beer pong with Butters.

They were just finishing the game (Butters lost badly, and was drunkenly holding on to the wall and apologizing to it) when Clyde reappeared.

“Kenny, sing with me! Token has a karaoke machine but Craig won’t sing and he won’t let me borrow Tweek!”

Kenny glanced over and saw that Craig was in full possession mode with Tweek. If it had been anybody else, Kenny’s first instinct would have been to either forcibly separate them and kidnap one of them or start hitting on Tweek just to piss Craig off, but he knew that at the best of times and most relaxed moments, Craig was protective of Tweek. Drunk, with a happy Tweek on his lap, Craig would likely murder him the moment he opened his mouth. Grabbing Clyde’s hand, they hit the karaoke machine and put on “Carry on My Wayward Son”.

They did song after song, taking shots and drinks through the night. Kenny was extremely drunk at that point, and Clyde was even worse off.

“Dude, the girls love us!” Clyde exclaimed happily.

“They love me. They tolerate your stupid ass.”

“Screw that dude, I’m the hottest guy in school!”

“Says who, a rigged list from 9 years ago?”

Clyde flipped him off. Kenny grinned as an idea hit him.

“Let’s make it a challenge. You and I put on a real show for our audience. Let’s strip and see who they like better!”

Clyde burst out laughing. “You’re on!”

As the next song ended, Kenny caught the microphone. “All right, ladies, gay men, my boy Clyde and I have a bet over who’s the hottest. Your cheers are the votes!”

Playing with the machine, he brought up his favorite stripping song from parties past: _You Shook Me All Night Long_. He put his best drunken dance moves on, spinning drunkenly around the stage and throwing his shirt over the heads of the cheering audience. He kicked his jeans off, seeing Clyde do the same thing and…

_Really Clyde? Briefs? Are you 8?_

Shaking his head, he finished the song standing back to back with his friend. He vaguely saw Craig and Tweek disappearing as the mob surround them cheering.

He held up his hand and picked up the microphone.

“Ok everybody, cheer for the hottest. Was it Clyde?”

Loud cheers echoed through the building.

“Was it me?”

The roof almost came off with the cheering. He turned back to his friend with a smile.

“Tough break, Clyde!”

“NOOOO!” Clyde wailed dramatically, falling to his knees on the floor.

Laughing, Kenny pulled him up. Kenny caught sight of their reflections in a mirror and laughed even harder, a scrawny blonde in blue boxer-briefs holding on to a brunette in black briefs, their clothes tossed aside and completely forgotten. Clyde joined in, leaning on Kenny for support.

Kenny wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “Seriously, dude, briefs? How old are you?”

Clyde grinned. “I like them! They show off my ass as a present to the ladies.”

“All right, let’s show off your ass then!” Without warning, Kenny spun around and wrapped his arm around Clyde’s neck, caught the back of his briefs and pulled them firmly up, making Clyde squeal with surprise. Drunken laughter erupted at the sight while Clyde squirmed, trying to escape Kenny’s grasp.

Kenny spent the rest of the night playing drinking games with all comers, giving Clyde random wedgies, and dancing with everybody still standing. Eventually Kyle came downstairs, and the last thing Kenny remembered from that night was laughing as Kyle and Clyde finally got him back.


	4. Kyle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cartman is in this chapter, so be prepared for antisemitism and swearing. I redeemed him somewhat though.

Kyle was torn. On the one hand, ever since his Bar Mitzvah he had been more serious about his religion and shouldn’t be getting drunk. On the other hand, it was going to be his last major party with Stan and he wanted to make the most of it.

He shrugged to himself as Stan pulled up to the house. He’d play it by ear. He glanced in Ike’s room as he passed, but his brother had already left on his date. With a quick goodbye to his parents, Kyle leapt into the car and grinned at his best friend.

“Last party, buddy. Let’s do this!”

Stan laughed. “There’ll be other parties in your life.”

“Not like this, though. We’re high school graduates now; this is the last time we can be stupid and careless without worrying about it. Even at college we’ll have to pretend to be adults sometimes.”

They got to Kenny’s house, and Kyle got a quick glimpse of Kevin McCormick drinking straight from a bottle before Kenny got in and promptly stole his hat.

“Kenny!” Kyle shouted, trying to grab it back.

“Nope. It’s our last real party before we have to pretend to be functioning adults, and we’re all letting our hair down, or out. Token said earlier even CRAIG isn’t wearing his hat.”

That stopped Kyle. Craig had worn his hat every day they had known him. Besides, as much as he hated to admit it, it felt good to let his hair out for once; his enormous red afro got HOT under that thing.

They got to Token’s house with plenty of time to spare. As they got their drinks, Kenny managed to convince Craig to do a keg-stand, giving further credence to Kyle’s theory that Kenny was somehow a sorcerer; his powers of persuasion bordered on the god-like and he never, ever managed to face consequences for them.

Once Craig was done, Kyle wanted to try one. He knew that Kenny loved messing with people so he made the other boy swear not to pull his pants off; Kenny had been known to strip at parties before, but Kyle was determined to keep his dignity somewhat intact. Stan and Kenny helped him get in position, and Kenny held him up while Stan put the nozzle in his mouth. He paid careful attention to Kenny’s hands, ready to drop down quickly if he felt his pants coming off. Kenny was keeping his promise though; instead of trying to loosen Kyle’s pants, he was holding him more securely. There was no way Kyle’s pants were coming off.

5 seconds later, Kyle realized his mistake as he got a massive wedgie.

“Hrrnngh!” He whined through the beer as Kenny laughed. A minute later he was let down and he immediately flipped Kenny off. “You a**hole!”

Kenny smiled. “You said don’t pull them down. You never said not to pull them up!”

Kyle stared for a moment, then had to break out laughing. It was just so…Kenny.

Kenny headed for the dance floor at that point. Vowing that he would somehow get revenge later, Kyle grabbed Stan and they started an epic game of beer pong. By the end of it, both boys were good and drunk.

After Kyle did another keg stand, held by Stan this time, he was fairly wobbly. Wendy showed up at that point, so he let Stan go visit with her. Making his way carefully up the stairs, Kyle headed for the balcony; he needed air, and if he had to be sick at least he could aim over the rail into the yard.

Gripping the rail tightly, he gazed into the darkness. Someday he was going to have to have his own balcony.

“Had too much, _Kahl?_ ”

God dammit. Was it really too much to ask to avoid this loser for one stupid party?

“Cartman.” Kyle managed to keep his voice neutral.

“I heard you’re going to Israel in the fall. A country of stupid Jews who pretend to be oppressed while keeping everybody else in concentration camps.”

Rage flooded through Kyle. “Shut the hell up, fatass. That’s not what’s happening!”

“Sure, _Kahl._ Keep telling yourself that as you come to terms with the fact that God’s ‘chosen people’ got stuck in the desert for 40 years then ended up in the one part of the Middle East without oil. Some might call that…ahem…divine retribution for killing His son.”

Kyle wanted nothing more than to break that racist, self-absorbed asshole’s nose. All the insults he had been subjected to over the years filled his mind.

Cartman, clearly satisfied, had turned and was waddling towards the door when Kyle spoke again. It was a question he had wondered for years but had never directly asked. This was probably his only chance, and he was drunk enough to do it.

“Cartman, why do you hate me so much?”

He asked it without anger, without accusation, in a tone of genuine curiosity. Cartman froze, then slowly turned around. Kyle was actually surprised; Cartman honestly seemed to be thinking about the question.

“I hate you because my mother, rather than being like a mother, tried to be my best friend. Stan’s mom is so busy looking after his father and cleaning up Randy’s messes she doesn’t have time for him, Kenny’s mom is poor and stupid, and your mom has literally gone to WAR for you.”

Kyle blinked in surprise. Cartman stepped closer, looking him straight in the eye.

“I hate you because I’ve never had a father, just a series of my mom’s one night stands as she whored her way through South Park. Stan’s dad is a total moron, and Kenny’s is drunk, stupid and poor, but yours is responsible, successful and actually cares about you and tries to help you, even if he is an internet troll.”

Cartman stepped closer again. Kyle was suddenly nervous; no matter how many times he had thought about this, it had never occurred to him that Cartman might actually give him a serious answer.

“I hate you because you have a little brother who looks up to you. You have friends who actually care about you, you’ve had girlfriends, you play sports, you’re skinny, and I…I…”

Cartman stopped for a moment and took a deep breath, trying to get himself under control. His eyes never left Kyle’s, who stared in total disbelief back at him.

“I hate you because you have everything I’ve ever wanted, and you treat it like it’s a terrible problem. You have a family that loves you and do nothing but whine about how overbearing they are. You have every advantage in this world, everything I can only dream about, and you don’t even care enough to appreciate it!”

Kyle stared in absolute shock. In his entire life, it had never once occurred to him how it must look to Cartman. After a moment, he finally spoke.

“I…I don’t try to make you feel bad. I never thought about how…” he trailed off, not having any idea where to go from here.

“Yeah, you didn’t.” Cartman scoffed and leaned over the railing.

“Cartman…I had no idea you were so unhappy. You always seemed so…”

“What was I supposed to do? Every time I tried to tell you how unhappy I was you told me I was being stupid and selfish.”

Kyle had no idea what to say to that. He thought of all the things he had seen with Cartman as a kid; how Cartman’s mom was such a pathetic figure she just let him do whatever he wanted rather than fight with him, how he managed to rally the town towards one ridiculous cause after another, how he had thousands of business ideas and somehow managed to be successful at them. They were terrible ideas, but somehow Cartman always managed to pull it off anyways.

“I’m sorry.”

“Shut up.”

“No, I mean…I’m sorry. I always thought you were a jerk so I never really bothered to think about you. I just assumed you were an asshole.”

Cartman sighed. “That’s your problem right there. You assume everybody has the same perspective as you, so by definition anybody who disagrees with you is evil or stupid.”

Kyle stared at the boy, realizing that this was the first, and maybe the only, time he would ever see the real Cartman. Not the whiny, selfish brat, not the racist monster, but the real boy, vulnerable, sad, acutely aware of all his flaws.

Cartman seemed to realize it too. “This stays here, Kyle. I don’t want you running to your boytoy Stan and laughing about it.”

“I wouldn’t do that.”

“Yes you would. When I broke up with Heidi years ago I called her crying and begging her to take me back. You got the recording and played it for everybody so they could all laugh at me.”

Kyle felt a surge of guilt at the memory. “I was a stupid kid then.”

Cartman glared at him. The awkwardness of the moment was interrupted by drunken giggling; they both looked over to see Tweek helping his drunk boyfriend down the hall, most likely heading to a bedroom.

Cartman sighed and turned to go back in.

“Wait.”

The fat boy stopped but didn’t turn around.

“I don’t…I know we’ll never be best friends, but I don’t want to leave it like this. I don’t want to cut you out, and I don’t like thinking that the last time we ever saw each other I felt this bad.”

Cartman turned and glared at him. “Whatever I can do to make you feel better, _Kahl_.”

Kyle pulled out his phone. “Let me add you on Facebook. We can at least stay somewhat in touch. You know, if you want anybody to talk to.”

Cartman’s eyebrows raised sarcastically. “You think I want to talk to you?”

“I think you wouldn’t have told me all that if you didn’t.”

Cartman didn’t dispute it.

“Look,” Kyle searched for the right words. “Maybe if things had been different, if you had been nicer, if I had understood why you hated me so much, maybe we could have gotten along better. It’s not too late to try. Do you think…do you think we can get along a bit better now?”

“I doubt it.” Kyle felt actual pain at the words, but Cartman kept going. “But we can leave as friends tonight, as two friends saying goodbye. I’m going to business school now, and you can go…where ever you feel like, I guess.”

Kyle nodded. “Sounds good.”

Cartman smiled. Surprisingly, he extended his hand. “Goodbye, Kyle.”

It was the first time he’d ever said Kyle’s name properly, no sarcasm, no mispronunciation, no anger.

Kyle reached out and shook his hand.

“Goodbye, Eric. Good luck.”

Cartman nodded and waddled away.

 

Kyle stayed outside for a little longer. The cool air felt good, and he had a lot to think through. Eventually, the need for more alcohol drove him back inside.

Apparently he had missed a good portion of the party. Kenny had stripped, unsurprisingly, and was walking around in his underwear. He had gotten Clyde to join him, and the two nearly naked boys were in the middle of a game of beer pong. Grabbing another shot, Kyle watched with interest. He laughed as Clyde won, cheering and dancing around Kenny, who responded by giving him a wedgie. Clyde squealed. Kyle felt sympathy, as he had gone through that earlier.

Actually…

As Kenny headed back to the kitchen surrounded by his mob, Kyle hurried up to Clyde.

“You OK?”

“Fine,” Clyde hiccupped, fixing himself. “He keeps doing that though. That’s my 7th tonight!”

“He got me earlier too,” Kyle said, smiling. “I think he deserves one of his own, don’t you?”

Clyde grinned eagerly and they began plotting.

Kenny came back, holding three shot glasses. All three boys downed them together, and Kenny yawned and stretched. He was extremely drunk, so it was easy to surprise him.

Lunging, Kyle and Clyde grabbed his waistband, lifting him completely off the floor.

“AAAAAAGGGHHHH!” Kenny screeched as they lifted him up, carried him to the wall, and hung his underwear on a large reinforced hook that normally held something heavy and expensive that Token had wisely hidden away. Kenny dangled helplessly on the wall, his feet off the ground.

“Dudes, let me down!” It would have been more effective if he wasn’t drunkenly giggling.

“No way!” Kyle said firmly. “Not until you’ve sworn never, ever to do that to me again.”

“I promise!”

“And you gave me a bunch tonight!” Clyde said through his laughter. “You have to apologize to me 14 times!”

“Sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry how many way that?”

Both boys had lost count, but they didn’t care. After Kyle took some pictures for posterity (Kenny grinned and made funny faces the whole time) they helped him down. He was so drunk and disoriented he fell over, taking the other two with him.

Giggling madly, they drunkenly wrestled their way into the living room before collapsing together on the carpet. Kyle heard the sounds of pictures being taken, but at that point he was too drunk and emotionally drained to care. Wrapping his arms around his friends, and feeling their arms around him in turn, he closed his eyes and passed out.


	5. Aftermath

Token crawled out of bed and immediately regretted it.

He was hungover, though not badly. His heart hurt, though; he knew that he and Nichole would never be more than good friends anymore, and it would dwindle away to nothingness over the years. Soon they’d just be former friends, and eventually they would barely even remember each other. She had already left, giving him a soft kiss goodbye.

Depressed, he pulled some clothes on and made his way out, passing the closed doors where couples had most likely spent their nights in drunken debauchery.

Glancing over the rail in his house, he took note of the passed out teens laying everywhere and the ruins of his party, then used his phone to call a cleaning service.

 

Kyle woke up slowly.

His head was _killing_ him.

He was also ridiculously hot. He tried to get up, and immediately realized why; he had two half naked teenage boys clinging to him. He would have laughed at the scene if he wasn’t _so_ hungover.

Struggling, he managed to squirm his way out and crawl to safety. Clinging to the arm of the couch he pulled himself up enough to sit on the couch. He fought the urge to throw up for a few minutes before slowly dragging himself up, almost crawling to the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of water. Chugging it down, he forced down some aspirin and leaned down, putting his head on the counter and hoping to recover soon.

Slowly standing back up, he grabbed the aspirin bottle and some more bottles of water, then carefully made his way back in and sat down on the couch.

God, he needed to sleep again.

There was a groan on the floor. Slowly Clyde pulled himself up. Moaning, he tried to move. Kyle slowly moved down and helped pull him onto the couch, then handed him aspirin and a water bottle. Clyde gulped them down desperately.

They both looked at Kenny, still sprawled out on the ground.

“He alive?” Clyde rasped, then held his head in his hands.

Kyle nudged his friend with his foot. Kenny moaned slightly.

“Yeah.” He gulped down more water.

Token came down next. His eyebrows raised at the sight of them, but he mercifully didn’t ask.

“I called the cleaners. They’ll be here in a few hours.”

“Cool,” Kyle nodded weakly. Clyde nodded, finally looking up again. Token grinned at the sight then disappeared again.

For a while, they just sat there and recovered in silence. Kenny finally moved a few minutes later, and eagerly took the water and aspirin offered.

At long last, their heads cleared enough they were semi-functional again.

Kenny spoke first. “Where are our clothes?”

Clyde shrugged. “We tossed them somewhere. They’ll turn up eventually.”

Kenny nodded. Slowly, all three boys began combing through the living room.

Kenny’s, surprisingly, were easy to find. They had ended up in the same general area, tossed into the corner behind a table. He pulled them on and collapsed in a heap on the couch again; the effort had nearly made him pass out.

Clyde’s were nowhere to be found.

Movement caught their eyes. Craig was slowly making his way down the stairs, Tweek helping him with every step.

Clyde smirked. “Morning, boys.”

Craig carefully stepped off the stairs onto the floor, then flipped him off.

“Shut up Donovan. And put some pants on, nobody needs to see that.”

“That’s not what the party said last night.”

“I still won, though,” Kenny chimed in from the couch.

Craig rolled his eyes. Clyde sighed and looked around again. “Speaking of my pants, have you seen them anywhere?”

“Gah! Maybe the underpants gnomes are back and they’re after more clothes!” Tweek shrieked. Craig patted his back comfortingly, the look on his face all but daring anybody to laugh at that.

“They’re up there.” Craig pointed, and all eyes followed suit. Somehow, Clyde’s clothes had ended up hooked on the antlers of a moose head that hung way up over the fireplace. The boys stared in shock.

“How did those get way up there?” Clyde demanded.

“After you passed out Cartman and Stan used them as a game of ring-toss.” Token answered, coming back into the room.

“How am I supposed to get them down?” Clyde demanded.

They ended up slowly bringing a ladder into the house. As the least-hungover of them, Token climbed up and threw Clyde’s clothes down. Groaning, he pulled them on.

Kyle had originally planned to go home with Stan, but he hadn’t counted on getting _that_ drunk. He called his best friend, who agreed to come get him anyways; Kenny was able to get a ride with them. Clyde was able to hitch a ride with Craig who agreed to drop him off on his way to drop off Tweek.

They exchanged hugs and backslaps on their way out.

The other overnight guests were trickling out at that point, and they left Token to deal with it.

That had been a _great_ party.


End file.
